


When I'm Dead

by BurningBehindMyEyes



Series: What Lies Beneath [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Fear, Gen, Insomnia, Mental Illness trigger warning, Please Be careful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 17:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11166303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningBehindMyEyes/pseuds/BurningBehindMyEyes
Summary: There's a pulsing behind his brain and his eyes won't close.It's alright.The hallway light on outside should chase away the nightmares.Damian will just sleep when he's dead.





	When I'm Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Insomnia and anxiety trigger warnings. Please just know your limits, and everyone have a good day. ^-^

Damian couldn't sleep. The clock was ticking, his eyes were heavy, and his movements sluggish, but he couldn't sleep. He laid on his too-large bed, stiffly on his back. Eyes closed, he shuffled around the silky sheets, pulling the fluffy duvet over his body and snuggling in. He turned onto his right side, curling into a ball. He snaked one arm underneath his foam pillow, allowing the other to stretch in front of him. His knees slowly drew up, tiny toes pulling the socks off his feet and into the covers, where Damian would most likely never see them again. He had school tomorrow, and it was a Wednesday, and Damian wasn't getting any better. He shut his eyes tighter, feet rubbing his ankles in a soothing motion, yet it did nothing to help him. Something creaked in Damian's room, and his eyes flew open, staring into the darkness. Shapes and faces loomed at him dangerously, melting into the shadows and coming back more defective.

Fear bloomed in Damian's chest, his heart rate spiking. There was something by his bed, he just knew it, and he knew that if he reached his hand out to turn his lamp on, that it would hurt him. But now that he knew it was here, he couldn't just ignore it. He reached out as quickly as possible, sitting up and flicking his bedside table lamp on. Warm yellow light flooded the room, and Damian turned slowly, half expecting to see monsters and men jumping out at him, teeth and fists shaking. But nothing jumped out and no attack came. Damian stopped, staring into his bedroom, eyes darting back and forth. The disembodied face on his ceiling was just the chandelier, the barrel of the gun close to his temple not there at all, and the person standing beside his bed, guarding his lamp, was nothing more than the drapes on his window.

Damian let out a shaky breath, and eased himself out of bed. He opened his closet and glanced around, nodding to himself and closing the doors. He dropped to all fours smoothly, looking suspiciously under the bed.

Nothing.

Damian hummed to himself gently and opened the large wooden door, propping it up with the lion-shaped wedge. He snuck into the hallway, staring with narrowed eyes into Grayson's bedroom, assessing the darkness around him. Damian quickly flicked the hallway light on, and the shadows danced away when artificial light flooded the hall. Damian waited for a moment, listening to Grayson's soft snores. If Grayson could sleep without a care, then Damian should be able to too. The boy shuffled back into his room, Anakin Skywalker pajamas, that Grayson had bought, were now a source of comfort. Damian gripped the too long sleeves and let his door remain opened. The boy turned the lamp off, yet the light from the hallway illuminated his room enough that nothing could come around without Damian noticing. Most nights, he had Titus, and he trusted the dog to keep him safe. But Titus was at the vet's overnight for ingesting a large, sharp, piece of plastic. The vets just seemed to make sure that Titus was all okay, so they kept him. Damian retreated into his bed, staring up at the ceiling. His eyelids were heavy, but they just didn't close.

The restlessness started. Damian sat down on his bed. His left leg began to tap, up and down, up and down up and down upanddownupanddownupanddown - and his hands started shaking, a shadow flitting in the corner of his eye, and his head whipped around. Damian could feel the energy curling into his body, and he sighed heavily as he glanced at his clock. 3:48am.

_Oh well._ he thought as he went to head down to the training rooms, feeling as if he was about to start bouncing off of the walls. _I guess I'll sleep when I'm dead._

The heavy bags under his eyes come next morning were telltale enough. And yet, Damian stood stock still as Grayson lectured him about not going to bed early enough. Damian wanted to protest, that going to bed early wouldn't solve his problem, but words failed him, so he just stopped talking.

He'd just sleep when he was dead.

And if Grayson didn't understand that, then that wasn't Damian's problem.


End file.
